


Some things you can't go back to

by nathen-millers (TheBoxer)



Series: The story of us [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alpha Bellamy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Clarke centered fic, F/M, It's more like a teen wolf au, banshee Clarke, lets be real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 15:07:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2029662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBoxer/pseuds/nathen-millers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy and Clarke in a world that might be beacon hills.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some things you can't go back to

**Author's Note:**

> I am a huge nerd for teen wolf. And I saw some posts on tumblr about werewolf Bellamy and Clarke. But I was like banshee Clarke, then this happened.

Sometimes, most of the time, Clarke really hated being a banshee. 

The voices that never seemed to cease, the showing up at random places only to find death, the screams, oh god the screams. 

The way it feels when someone dies. 

It was all too much. 

*

At least she could control the screams now. 

She no longer screamed as she felt death creep into the hospital and take one of the patients.

She still felt the scream crawl up her throat, waiting, wanting to burst though. She pushed it down. It was hard and painful, but then again, so was life. 

*

Life was much easier when she was with her pack. 

Banshees didn't typically have packs. People and supernatural creatures stayed away, death always followed banshees. Or banshees always followed death. 

But being around Jasper, Monty, and Octavia made life almost easy. 

* 

Being around Finn made her want to scream for a different reason. 

Finn who made Clarke feel Raven's death. Finn who wanted to use Raven's death as an excuse to make peace with the other werewolf pack. Finn who held Raven as she died. 

Raven who told Finn she loved him. Finn who didn't say it back.

Finn who told Clarke that he loved her. 

Clarke who didn't say it back

*

Bellamy was easier than Finn. But not as easy as the rest. 

He was a good alpha, he had been Octavia's alpha and parent for years. Jasper and Monty loved him. Finn respected him. 

Bellamy didn't use Raven's death as an excuse for peace. He used it as a excuse for revenge. 

And Clarke didn't stop him. 

*

After Raven's death and the pack's revenge, Bellamy insisted that they all try to live a normal live. 

"Go back to work, school, go try to go back to your life before this," he told them at one pack meeting. 

"How can we go back? Nothing is the same," Jasper argued. 

"Yeah! Am I suppose to go back to MIT?" Monty said, "After everything that has happened, I don't think I can." 

"Besides, we have to protect the territory," Finn said. 

"I can protect the territory," Bellamy said confidently 

"But how can we go out in the world and pretend to be normal?" Octavia said, "We aren't normal, we will never be normal. I don't want to go back to school and pretend everything is fine! Like a member of the pack hasn't died." 

"You have to," Clarke said suddenly, "All of us do. It might be hard, but O, you and Jasper and Monty need to get a college degree. You need to get a job, you can come back home after school. But right now, you need to be young and at least act like you are 19." 

Octavia turned toward her, "What about you, Clarke? You are done with school, what are you going to do?" 

Clarke saw the concern in Octavia's eyes, Clarke knew she was remembering the first few weeks after Raven's death. She smiled softly, "I'll be fine, Octavia. I'll go back to work. But you need to go." 

Octavia didn't look conviced but she nodded all the same. 

*

"Thanks for the back up, Princess," she heard Bellamy say behind her. 

Clarke was sitting outside on the Blake's porch. The voices in her head were quiet for once. 

"No problem, are they still muttering to each other?" Clarke asked. 

"Even more so now that Finn says he is staying behind," Bellamy replied. 

"I am not surprised," Clarke muttered. 

"That Finn is staying behind? Me either. He still thinks that he loves you," Bellamy said. 

"Do you think he does?" Clarke asked, she wasn't sure why, but she knew Bellamy would tell her the truth about this. 

"In his own screwed up way, yeah I think he does. But he doesn't deserve you, not after everything," Bellamy said.

Bellamy had always been protective of her, that's probably what made him a good alpha. His protective nature and his undying devotion to the people he considers family. 

*

When Monty, Jasper and Octavia left, it was a sad affair. 

The pack hadn't been this spilt up since Clarke, Raven, and Finn went to school, which was six years ago. 

Six years ago, Clarke had just began to understand what being a banshee meant. And how much energy it took. 

Raven had been such a big help, she had come from a hunter family. Raven taught Clarke everything she knew about banshees. And helped research more about them. 

It was so weird to be without Raven. 

Sometimes, late at night, when the voices seem louder, Clarke can almost hear Raven's voice, but she can never focus on it. 

*

Clarke went back to the hospital to complete her residency. 

Bellamy hadn't been to happy about that. 

"I read that after great emotional trauma, banshees struggle to control themselves. Can't you take a little while off?" He had said. 

"Everyone needs to get back to their lives, you said it yourself. And everyone includes me," she had told him. 

So Clarke went back. 

It was hard, at first, to control the scream and to block out the voices, but she managed. 

*

Finn stopped coming around. 

Clarke can't say she missed him. 

Once, she would have. But now, when she does see him, all she can see is Raven's blood on his hands and all she can hear is Raven saying that she loves him. 

And all she feels is Raven's life slipping away, and there is nothing she can do. 

* 

Clarke's nightmares are still bad. 

She dreams of Raven and her soul leaving them. She dreams of the pack's death. 

She dreams of her own death. 

Sometimes, that nightmare seems more like a dream.

*

She knows Bellamy watches her. She feels his eyes on her, but whenever she turns around, he isn't there. 

He is leaving her to her life, to try to become normal again. 

Normal seems so very far away. 

She can't remember when she last felt normal, like a regular 23 year old. 

She thinks it was with Raven at school. Drinking, laughing, flirting with boys, it all seems so far away. 

* 

Two months after Octavia, Jasper, and Monty went to school, she sees Bellamy again. 

More accurately, he saved her from some human creepy guy. 

She was at a bar, the one she and Raven used to go to. The guy came up to her, he was aggressive and Clarke felt her heartbeat go up considerably. 

Then Bellamy was there, pulling her back into his chest, almost growling at the man. 

Bellamy drove her home, she could tell he was angry. Once upon a time, Bellamy would have had no problems letting Clarke know his angry, but lately, it seemed like he was softer toward her. 

"Just say it, Bellamy, we both know you want to," she said tiredly. 

He seemed to consider her words before saying, "You can't just go by yourself to bars, you could get hurt. And I won't always be there," he sighed, "I don't get it, Clarke. Why would you want to go to hot, smelly, bars by yourself?" 

Clarke shrugged, "I wanted to be remember what it felt like to be normal." 

"Did you feel normal?" 

She shook her head. 

*

Bellamy began actually coming around, not just watching from a distance. 

He brought her coffee when she worked the late shifts. He would sometimes talk with her then. 

They talked about Octavia and the rest of the pack. 

He mentioned that Finn had left town.

"Where did he go?" Clarke asked 

Bellamy shrugged, "Told me he needed time to himself."

Clarke tried not to feel like she wasn't part of the pack. 

* 

Sometimes it was hard to be the only not werewolf in a pack of werewolves. 

It sometimes felt like she wasn't truly a member of the pack. 

It was easier with Raven. Raven hadn't been a werewolf, but a werewolf hunter. 

Clarke didn't feel like such an outsider then. Now, she felt like an outsider. 

*

Clarke starting asking questions about werewolves. 

She never really understood werewolves. And she didn't try to. But she figured now she should. 

"How come you can shift into a full wolf during and not during the full moon but the others can't?" 

"Control mostly. Also age. O can almost do it, but she lacks some control. Monty, Jasper, and Finn were turned when they were older, it just takes time to learn," he responded. 

"What keeps you calm on a full moon? I remember Jasper going insane and wolfing out on his first full moon," she asked. 

"Once again, control. But it also helps to have an anchor," he said as he flipped though a magazine. 

"What's an anchor?" 

He looked up at her, his eyes were so dark, "It's someone, or thing, that keeps you grounded. Reminds you that you are human. That you aren't just your wolf." 

"What's your anchor?" She asked curiously. 

He smirked, "That's personal, Princess."

*

Clarke started to stay over at Bellamy's house. 

She slept better there, she slept better knowing that Bellamy was there. The voices also seemed to be softer there. 

Listening for her, for her heartbeat. Octavia once said that Bellamy loved to listen to heartbeats, she said it was his favorite part of being a wolf. 

Clarke liked knowing he listened to her heartbeat, it relaxed her. 

*

The first full moon she was there for, Clarke wasn't really ready for. 

Bellamy was in control of his wolf, but his temper seemed to escape him. 

She was reminded of when she first saw Finn turn. 

It had scared her, it scared her because now he wasn't the perfect boy she once knew. 

But Bellamy never acted perfect, he always let her know his faults. 

She wasn't scared around Bellamy, but more worried for him. He acted so self loathing, it was subtle, it must have been there since she knew him. But she is finally noticing it. 

*

"Do you like being a werewolf?" she asked the next morning. 

"It's all I have known," he responded. 

"That's not an answer, Bellamy," she said. 

"I'm a monster, Clarke, what do you think?" he told her,

"No, you aren't a monster," she said immediately. 

"Yes I am. So is Finn, Jasper, Monty and O. We transform into wolves. Of course we are all monsters," he said almost angrily. 

Clarke thought of the pack that killed Raven, about the men that killed Clarke's father. 

She finally said softly, "Not all monsters do monstrous things." 

He smiled softly at her. 

Clarke felt her heart flip flop in her chest. 

*  
Clarke hadn't felt the urge to scream in weeks, no matter who died at the hospital. The voices seem so much softer. 

She knew Bellamy was a part of that. 

Clarke started to do research on banshees and love. 

Not like she loved Bellamy, she just needed to know if there were any changes to banshees ability or control. 

*

She didn't find anything to prove her theory but she knew something had changed within her. 

*

It came to her one night, 

An anchor, he was her anchor. He kept her grounded, remindered her she was human. 

*

"You seem better," Bellamy said one day, "More in control." 

She smiled at him, "I found my anchor." 

He smiled back, "What is it?" 

Her smile turned into a smirk, "It's personal."

"Really?"

"Really," she said, "But I could be persuaded to tell you, if you tell me yours." 

His dark eyes seemed to dance, he leaned closer to her. 

"Do I really have to say it?" He said softly before brushing his lips against hers. 

The voices all stopped, expect for one. 

"It's about time," Raven's voice echoed though her head.

**Author's Note:**

> I love the quote not all monsters do monstrous things. I think it fit Bellamy and Clarke very well. The quote is not mine, it's from the teen wolf midseason trailer. Please review, comment, and kudos. It really means a lot to here from the readers.


End file.
